#75: Where Empathy Develops
Get out your thinking caps - this episode is heady and I had to rewind many many times to re-listen while I was working on these show notes. We are talking empathy (and intimacy and conviction) today. I believe that empathy is one of the key ingredients that will help her heart heal within the context of the couple-ship. So developing empathy is KEY.
We talk neuroanatomy: prefrontal cortex, mirror neurons, cortical hypofrontality and modeling of empathy from others. We also talk biblical anthropology: the holy spirit interacting with our spirit and in that there can be a cultivation of conviction, humility, a sense of our own brokenness, love, and repentance.
It’s the interplay between the two of these - the neuranatomy + the biblical anthropology that help cultivate empathy. Both - And.
Action Items for men that are struggling to find conviction or have more of a self-depricating conviction (which can lead to empathy):
Write your story or revisit your written story and where the wounds are from childhood.
Two book recommendations (see below)
Reflect on: what am I afraid of when coming to terms with the depths of my depravity?
Be aware of your “depravity floor” - and come to terms with the fact that we can all do bad things on really good days and thus need ALL of God’s grace.
We end by sharing a list of things that can help with developing empathy:
Doing a formal disclosure well
Modeling from other men that are empathic (accountability group, coach, therapist, etc.)
Story work / root work
Living with sobriety / integrity (acting out AND acting in)
Gratitude
Tilling the soil of your heart (for her)
Ultimately - empathy and intimacy go hand in hand. As Jason said - intimacy is the antidote, at every turn.
We hope this is helpful for you guys!
We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us for Season #6.
The two books that Jason recommended: Abba’s Child by Brendan Manning and With by Skye Jethani
Episode #6 is one you can also refer to for more on empathy - The Importance of Empathy (not Sympathy).
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