#116: Anchors
In this episode, we talk about the practices that help us stay safe, avoid going too far off course, and ultimately navigate grief and pain. Jason, rightfully so, struggles with using the word anchor (he suggests we use the word buoy), and while I hear him, an anchor certainly doesn’t help us literally keep our heads above water, I love what an anchor DOES do.
Here is an excerpt from a book that I read AFTER we taped this episode - the book is called Anchored by Deb Dana - and Deb says this - “anchors are essential to staying safe in response to changing conditions. An anchor digs into the ocean floor with enough line between it and the boat to hold the boat safely in one place, but with enough leeway to move in response to changes in the sea and wind. Safety comes with a firmly embedded anchor and the right amount of line. When we are anchored, we have a sense of being safely held, so we can venture out without becoming adrift. We are connected to a state of regulation and have room to explore the world around us.” I love how this is explained. I couldn’t say it any better.
Bottom line: anchors help us navigate unexpected changes and give us a sense of being cocooned in (safety) in the midst of the upheaval.
Jason and I both share what our anchors have looked like throughout the process. I especially appreciated the recitation that Jason repeated to himself early in recovery and wanted to make sure to capture that here:
God, you are good, and your intentions for me are good.
I’m dearly loved and infinitely valuable.
I am forgiven for what I have done.
I walk in your grace.
I don’t have to act out today.
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