The Gift of Waiting

We are continuing with our foundational series and going to look at what it looks like to wait..not just wait, but to wait well. I wanted to make sure and chat about this during the Advent Season as there are some lovely parallels between the two.

Pssst: you can always click here where I will be linking all the articles as we release them back to this main page on foundations. Hope that helps!

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Can I just tell you that waiting is one of the absolute HARDEST things for me to do? I’m not talking about waiting for a trip or waiting to open a present. In fact, I am ALL about working hard and playing after.

What I am specifically talking about is waiting when it comes to the things that are completely out of my control: waiting to see what in the world God is doing in a particular situation, waiting for someone else to change or get it (I know, I know, this is horrible!!!), waiting for my emotions to simmer down. These sorts of waits: incredibly difficult.

I think of the recovery process post-betrayal and the amount of waiting to be had. Waiting to see: will my heart heal? Will he do recovery? Will he learn how to be empathetic? Will I ever trust him (or anyone for that matter) ever again.

A lot of waiting.

I think back to before Christ was born. The entire Old Testament feels like one big wait - waiting for the Messiah to come and redeem the world. In fact, Advent (the weeks leading up to Christmas) are all about waiting and preparation. It’s the season of slowing down, remembering the wait before Christ was born, and preparing for His arrival.

Preparation.

I’m going to come back to preparation because this is incredibly important but before I go there, let’s talk about some strategies we can use to wait well. Here are several that I believe are worth showcasing -

Name It

Ladies, there is power in naming things. I know, I say this ALL the time. I find it so incredibly important, though. So… naming that we are thick in the wait? - this right here is HUGE. What are you waiting for right now? Can you name it? When we are able to name it - it gives us a healthy amount of authority over it and it also helps validate what we are experiencing.

Know What We Are Responsible For

One of the struggles I have with waiting is that I want everything to be fixed and pinned up. Yesterday. And news flash: I can't fix anything or anyone but me. Soooooo - if I can really work on figuring out - what am I responsible for? And what am I not responsible for? This can really help me stay detached while I watch and wait.

Once I see that I have done all I can and I truly need to wait - I am able to sit a little bit more so in the discomfort. Speaking of…

Welcome Discomfort

I think we all desire to be sitting in a comfortable place. Sure, some of us more than others, depending on what you value. For myself, comfort is a top value. I see this big time in one of my littles as well - he puts on robes and house shoes and cozy socks and sweatpants when he gets home - the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Waiting, however, is uncomfortable. One thing that helps me when I am waiting is acknowledging the discomfort, and figuring out what I can do to lean into it a little bit more. This oftentimes looks like some positive self-talk: “Shelley, this is uncomfortable. And I know you can do it. Keep going. It won’t last forever.”

Connecting with God, Self and Others

Tracy will talk about this in the next blog post, but for now - know that when we are detached, watching and waiting - it’s important to work at staying connected to ourselves, God and others. Vulnerable - yes but pressing into being fully known through connection is THE way through.

An Expectant Wait

And probably most importantly is this: I think it’s important to note that when we are waiting, God desires for us to have an expectant posture.

David says this in Psalm 40:1-3:

“I waited patiently for the LORD: he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”

The Hebrew word for "wait" in this passage is "qavah" which means "to expect", in particular the straining of the mind in a certain direction with an expectant attitude. In other words, a look forward with assurance.

This my friends is the same posture we have during Advent. An expectant wait of the Messiah entering the world.

Back to Preparation

And just like with Advent, when we wait, we are in a season of preparation. Preparation for something bigger, something better. In that wait, we are giving God space to do what He can do through us and for us.

What is God Preparing You For?

So next time you find yourself thick in the wait - ask yourself: what is God preparing me for? What good work is he doing in me and through me? What transformation might be taking place?

As always, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts below. Let’s support one another as we wait.

xo - Shelley

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Hey Gals!  When I transitioned my old website to a new website in early 2026, I lost all my comments.  These comments are precious to me and to so many of you.  I am posting the comments here and please feel free to comment below if you have something you’d like to share.  xoxo - Shelley

Kerry said: Shelley,

This is so good, I can SO relate on so many levels and how hard it is to wait for the places that seem unfinished or an ever continual process in the journey of recovery…😩 — feeling as if it some areas will never get there… so naming it has helped me so much over this last year in my ongoing healing journey of waiting! Thank you!!

My response: Kerry - YES - it is so SO hard!!! And especially for those of us that like things all neat and packaged up and FINISHED!!! Naming it is huge, I am so glad you have been able to do that! Sending all my love! xo - Shelley

Susan M said: Thank you so much for this blog post, saying it is timely is a huge understatement! Waiting, coupled with triggers, PTSD rearing it’s ugly head, and trying to work through childhood trauma is excruciating! I’ve actually felt like I was loosing my mind. For me I think God is trying to teach me patience, how to turn things out of my control over to Him, and how to rely on Him and Christ’s Atonement more. I feel like I am in the Refiner’s Fire, sometimes to the point of consumption. But it must be needed if I am to change.

My response: Oh Susan - when you said to the point of consumption - that is intense and I can imagine you are ready to have this ALL in the rearview mirror - and I also love that you see that in the refinement - you will grow and heal and be a different person! Sending hugs! xoxo - Shelley

Jeannie Thompson said: PTL, Shelley,

So glad you shared this! I’m seeing it a bit
Late but I need it in the general battle! My heart was shattered last March to find my husband in a sexual affair. We are not in a specific program but listen to your podcasts when we can. Hubby is looking like he really means to have a permanent change but I worry that our journey is not the same as those in programs and how much of the change is real sooo there is some of the waiting! This is our anniversary month and I am a praying for a sign this significant that definite changes have occurred in each of us!

My response: Hi Jeannie -

Yay - so glad you read this and it spoke to you!!! I know so many can relate to wondering - is the change, is the progression real? Or is it a facade? And having to really wait through that to see if it's going to be lasting change.

Holding you tight right now as you continue to wait.

xoxo - Shelley