An Avenue for Beginning to Reclaim what Pain Stole

I am thrilled yet again to have Tracy Binder, one of my coaches and group facilitators, share a piece on reclaiming what pain has stolen through prayer! This woman has the biggest heart with so much love to share and I am so so grateful to have her on my team. You can read Tracy’s bio here.

God understands

I love running. I love the early mornings when no one is awake and I can hear my feet pounding against the pavement with each step. I love the wind in my hair. I love hearing my breath. Running brings me joy and energizes my soul.

I have battled many injuries over the years. Most recently I battled an overuse injury for six plus months and it finally sidelined me. No more lacing up the running shoes in the morning before everyone woke up. No more wind in my hair. No more hearing my breath. This hurt and I was so sad. The pain prevented me from doing something I so dearly love.

Running and pain - you might be wondering what this has to do with betrayal. Well, it’s my loose segue into this concept of pain causing us to be stripped of the things we love. I remember early on in the recovery process having days where the pain was so bad I could not get out of bed. This pain took me away from laughing with my kids. It took away my ability to look at old pictures, my wedding pictures as well as photos of when my kids were born. It took away so much of my life that I loved.

Ladies, this pain can take us to some deep dark places. And, I want you to remember - maybe put this on your bathroom mirror - God understands our pain. He not only understands it, He experienced it all himself when he sent His son Jesus to die on the cross in our place.

So what do we do? What do we do when the pain is so bad we can’t enjoy the things we once enjoyed? What do we do when the pain is so bad we don’t want to get out of bed or leave the house? What do we do when the pain is so bad that we can’t find joy or ever believe we will find joy again?

One of many things that really helped me: PRAYER.

I know I know, you might be tempted to stop reading. Some of you may say “I have tried this, and it did not work”. Others may have had a bad experience with prayer. I want to challenge you to stick with me. I get it. So….

What is prayer?

Simply put, prayer is talking with God. I know this might feel weird, possibly even scary.

I have a great friend who taught me to talk to God like you talk to your earthly dad. Some of you, like me, don’t have an earthly dad that was present in your life. When our relationship with our earthly dad is strained or absent here on earth, it’s hard to imagine talking to God in this way.

Here are a few “tips” she gave me: Start your prayers, “Hey Dad”. (He is our Heavenly father and He desires for us to talk to Him at anytime.) Also end your prayer, “Talk soon…” (A reminder that we can go to Him whenever we want and wherever we are.)

Why prayer?

First, we need to seek God because we need Him. We all need something beyond human power. This can only start when we seek God. Prayer is one way to seek God.

Second, let’s talk intimacy. Intimacy is something you will hear a lot about around Redemptive Living / RL for Women. A simple definition is closeness in a relationship. God desires intimacy with you, yes you! He wants to be close to you and you to Him. One way we can achieve closeness with God is talking to him through prayer. In these painful times, He longs for us to pray, spend time with Him, speak with Him and ultimately grow closer to Him.

Lastly, prayer is powerful. It can break strongholds in lives and heal the impossible. I know I needed a lot of strongholds to be broken and healing to come in truck loads. Also, praying with others allows God’s power to exponential multiply in our lives.

How do we pray?

Prayer can be intimidating especially if you have not done it in awhile. It is important to remember that there is not a right way to pray. Remember Adam and Eve? The Bible tells us that God would come every day to the garden to spend time with them. How awesome is this picture of prayer. That is what God wants WITH you. To spend time with you.

Challenge

Take a step today and decide to spend some time with God in the garden. Take the challenge and commit to pray every day for the next 30 days. Here are some simple strategies to help: - Start with 1 minute a day.

- Pray the Lord’s Prayer.

- Talk with your husband or a close friend and then pray about what you talked about.

- Pray while you are exercising - might I suggest running, anyone?!

When the pain completely overwhelms you, when it strips you of the things you love - talk to God. Pray. And watch God do what only God can do.

And for all of those wondering…yes, I did get back to pounding the pavement again. Not without a lot of rest (another blog post) and prayer. But I was able to heal and enjoy one of my loves.

Dear God, I desire to spend time with you daily. Thank you for teaching me about prayer in your Word. Thank you for wanting to spend time with me now and for eternity. Amen.

How can we pray for you today? Drop a note in the comments below and we will pray for you. Also, as always, would love to hear your thoughts - how has prayer helped you move through pain? What other strategies help you when pain has stripped you of the things you love?

Shine On,

Tracy

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Hey Gals!  When I transitioned my old website to a new website in early 2026, I lost all my comments.  These comments are precious to me and to so many of you.  I am posting the comments here and please feel free to comment below if you have something you’d like to share.  xoxo - Shelley

Meshell said: I feel like I've died, but continue to breathe. My husband had two affairs in one year after 40 years of my giving EVERYTHING I had to give to him in marriage. I gave up all my own dreams, goals, happiness to serve him...so dutifully...so lovingly. Then...after 40 years, after my cancers, he did two utterly cruel complete discards of me, telling me he was divorcing me in my 60's to marry each of his AP's. He had made such intricate plans with each of them...the dream homes they had chosen together, their friends and adult children that he had brought into our business (while we were still married) that we had co-owned and operated for decades...Telling me he had fallen out of love with me.
He has "returned", and we have just enrolled in Trustworthy U. But my love for him has been utterly destroyed by his complete rejection, abandonment and discards. I do not believe I will ever find love for such a CRUEL COLD-HEARTED man again... He has completely destroyed my love for him... I need prayer to survive...to breathe...to live again...

Rhonda said: I just have to say I’m so sorry. Your pain is so real. It’s so unfair. And I’m so glad you are a part of this community. You are heard, accepted, and loved. Praying that God will give you the next breath, and the next, …
God is my only hope as we walk through this pain.

Kelly Smith said: I think God met me through friends and my group first who let me process, go over and over it, time after time. Then as I leaned into Him with repentance and saw that He truly loved and cherished me, He began to give me answers every time I asked through podcasts, the Word, friends, songs, nature, beauty, Shelley's ministry.....He just keeps answering! I'm truly blown away by His love for me through all these things. There is still so much pain and betrayal, but I know that no matter what I can go forward in peace, confidence and joy because He has shown me His love. I realize that I've never truly been loved by my husband, he just isn't capable, but I don't have to have that, I have the love of the One Who died for me, the One Who created the Universe, the One Who holds all things together and gives me each and every breath! It's taken me a while to get here, I know there is much more to come, more pain, more grief because the betrayal continues, but I am on firmer ground now, ground that will never falter. I will but He won't!

Chris said: Thank you for sharing the depth of your pain Meshell. After 48 years of marriage I also experienced sexual betrayal & heartbreak with my husband. He has HIV as a result. I carry on for my children & 10 grandchildren, whose lives would be broken if they ever found out. I need prayer to continue sorting this out within myself & hearing God's voice in how to do that.

Meshell Watt said: Rhonda, Kelly, and Chris,

Thank you for your empathetic expressions of kindness. I’m so sorry for the devastating losses each of you are grieving. The excruciating pain of betrayal by the one whom we sacrificially loved and trusted more than anyone on earth…is something that can only be fully understood by those who have experienced it. 💔😓

Tracy Binder responded: Hi Meshell,

Thank you for sharing right where you are. You are always accepted and loved here. Keep holding fast to prayer.

Tracy Binder said: Ladies. Thank you for your kind words, meeting Meshell right where she is. This is what safe go to girls looks like. #groups. We are never alone. ❤️☀️