On Thriving: Staying in the Present
I am thrilled to have Tracy Binder, one of my coaches and group facilitators share a piece on what it has looked like to pivot from Surviving to Thriving this summer! This woman has the biggest heart with so much love to share and I am so so grateful to have her on my team. You can read Tracy’s bio here.
Just Surviving
This past May, as the school year was ending, I felt like I barely had my head above water. We call it Maycember in our house.
End of year programs, sports banquets, last minute projects at school and the list goes on and on. I was falling into bed at night and as one of my best friends says, “I was running wide open.”
Seriously girls, we were just surviving.
Dinner time would arrive and my husband and I would look at each other and say, "Should we order out AGAIN?!"
I needed summer here and quickly.
I needed the kids to sleep in a bit and for us not to be in the car by 7:30 am.
I needed to not pack lunches, I was D-O-N-E packing lunches. In fact the last week of school I took them all Chick-Fil-A because I could not pack one more lunch.
Sound familiar at all?
Sharing this in one of the groups I facilitate - one of my dearest women said - "I know you are feeling weary, but this time will end. Enjoy these times the best that you can."
This kinda punched me in the gut. How was I supposed to enjoy exhaustion, no margin and running around like a chicken with my head cut off? That is how I felt.
Shifting to Thriving
What is the definition of thriving? Well, Webster defines it as "to grow or develop WELL". Oh there was the word I was missing: WELL.
What does growing WELL look like in difficult life situations or during our recovery process? What I have realized is - in order to thrive WELL - we must learn how to live in the present.
Staying in the Present
A verse that has helped me stay focused on the present over the last year (as well as on my recovery journey) is Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
When I am faced with a trial, I want to know "why?" I want to know "when will it be over?" I want to know "how it will end?" (Can any of you relate?!)
This verse shows us that first God gives us a lamp unto our FEET. We are reminded that we are on solid ground when we trust in Him. And He is a light unto our PATH. He is not lighting our whole path. He is lighting 1-2 steps ahead. We cannot see the middle or the end or the how.
I picture Him bending down as a parent would to a small child, and putting His arms around me. Looking me in the eye and saying “Let’s just do today”. I am not alone in this. He is with me. He is doing things ahead of me I can not see. I only need to do today. I need to stay in the present.
Other Strategies to Stay In the Present
I have several other go-to strategies besides focusing on the verse above.
#1 - Grounding Techniques
One thing that has really helped are grounding techniques. These strategies help calm our minds and and our thinking and bring our focus back to our bodies and surroundings. In other words, grounding strategies help us come back to the present instead of worrying about the “what is next”.
My favorite grounding exercise is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding strategy using our five senses. Here is what it looks like:
5 - Name FIVE things you see around you.
4 - Name FOUR things you can touch around you. (And touch them!)
3 - Name THREE things you hear.
2 - Name TWO things you can smell. (Reach of for a candle or a book and smell it in!
1 - Name ONE thing you can taste. (Put a piece of gum in your mouth or think about a food you love and imagine what it takes like.)
#2 - Getting Out In Creation
Another go-to strategy is to get out in creation. Somedays this is going for a walk or run. Other days this may be just taking a five minute break on my porch and listening to the sounds of creation.
#3 - Cultivating Quiet Time
Another option: cultivating quiet time with the Lord. I try so hard to get up before my kids get up so I can start my day in the quiet. I don’t know about you, but when I sleep through my alarm and kids are in my room before I open my eyes, I feel like the day has started me, as opposed to me starting the day. In the quiet time I like to pray, sometimes out loud. Sometimes I journal or write. I like to read my devotion. I get in His Word. Remember “Thy Word” is a lamp and who is the Word? God.
#4 - Connecting
We are designed to connect and be in community. When I reach out and connect with safe people, this fills my tank and allows me to be a better wife, mom, friend, co-worker, coach, daughter or whatever role I need to hold that day. Also, when I connect I realize I am not alone and I am not the only one who feels like I do in this trial.
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So ladies as we learn to thrive in our recovery process, let us all commit to trying to stay in the present. As we stay in the present we let go of some of the control and lean more into trusting God and His great plan for our lives.
Would love to hear from you all. How do you stay in the present? Let's share with one another and know we are not alone.
Shine On,
Tracy
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Hey Gals! When I transitioned my old website to a new website in early 2026, I lost all my comments. These comments are precious to me and to so many of you. I am posting the comments here and please feel free to comment below if you have something you’d like to share. xoxo - Shelley
Rhonda said: Thank you Tracy. It’s like you finished a thought that has been forming in the back of my mind. I’ve been so wrapped up in unpacking my past and the last 33 years of betrayal, and rightly so, but maybe it’s time to open my eyes to the present. Even when my husband is missing opportunities to connect, there is still value in “right now”. There are still blessings to be counted right now. I’m weary of living to please everyone else and missing what my Father has for me. I want to learn how to thrive in today, trusting Him to provide the light I need, and obeying His still small voice. Easier said than done, but God is so faithful to help me and gently lead me along the right path.
Tracy Binder responded: Rhonda, I love how this blog resonated in your process. Staying in the present can be so challenging , but also so healing when we intentionally choose to practice this. Your faith in how God is working and leading you is inspiring!
Sharon said: Such a beautiful perspective on living and thriving for just today. God has been on this journey day by day with me and I must let him give me the peace needed to know that tomorrow is in His hands.
Tracy Binder responded: Oh Sharon you said it so well. That is the truth knowing God has got tomorrow. He really never leaves us, it His promise to us. I know for me staying in today can be the difference between surviving and thriving!
Kathy said: Perfect timing, as it is only 11 AM and it has already been one of “those” days. Thank you for the reminders! You are so wise and wonderful :)
Tracy Binder responded: Kathy,
Oh those days! I know them to well. I’m glad staying in today has guided you through today!! Keep thriving girl!
Deb said: Thank you so much for this Tracy; so practical and obvious, but it just hit me in the head this morning. Like Rhonda; dealing with almost 40 years of betrayal and lies; it's hard to stay in the present. "When" and "what if's" have become almost daily thoughts. I need to focus on starting to Thrive in the present (vs. ust exist) and trust God to handle the steps I can't yet see. Thanks for your insight!
Tracy Binder responded: Deb,
Oh girl this is hard hard work!! It is a daily practice to stay in today knowing God has me and this process in His hands. Those what if thoughts can drown us before breakfast sone days. Keep renewing your mind daily abs stay connected!!!!
Sally Basefsky said: This so resonated with me! I have been listening to a series on the sermon on the mount,specifically;
“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21 KJV
Ruminating constantly on all the losses of the past or focusing on the changes I wish my husband would want to make only rob me of my sweet relationship with Jesus and steal from my future treasures in heaven. I have already lost so much to this painful marriage, that stops today! Jesus has SO MUCH better for me it’s time I focus on what He has for me today and walk in faith regardless of the choices my husband makes. Each day more will ‘be revealed in time. Thank you, I love you Tracy!
