Each one of these emotions deserves space to breathe, space to have a voice, space to be heard and seen.

It was last Sunday at church that I thought these 5 words - "I'm a better person when..." I found myself actually looking for people I knew to say "hi" to in the hallways after church versus my usual - keeping my head down, collecting my kids and flying out the door.

Honestly, I consider this to be essential when it comes to self-care which is something I harp on a LOT in my groups.

In my opinion, this is the most acute, most insidious, most tragic damage done by sexual betrayal.

I was afraid to be vulnerable. Afraid to disagree. Afraid of what Jason might think of me.

For myself, the first step to taking back my intuition was demanding to know the truth about my life.

Being able to name my shame and its roots wrapped up in this false belief that I have to be perfect...well, there is freedom in that.

Whether it be a situation from childhood or from disclosure or anything in between, remember that a trigger is connected to our past.

As a side note, I've decided for myself, step one to overcoming my insecurities is awareness.

It's also a time to reflect, practice gratitude and be thankful for the many blessings bestowed upon - us big or small.

Just to be clear, a boundary won't 100% of the time prevent our husband from acting out. Rather, it is something put into place for our safety and protection.

One of the first steps in my road to healing was finding my voice and finding my feelings. It's only after we accomplish this that setting boundaries can even be a tool that helps us communicate our needs to our husband.

I have found that when I couch a difficult conversation in this way, it proves to be more effective both for myself as well as for Jason.