Little did I know that holding myself to a perfect standard, also meant I expected everyone around me to be held to those same expectations.

Because honestly, sometimes I feel like it’s the kind of different that isn’t even cool. It’s the kind of different that offends others and makes other moms roll their eyes and smile cruelly.

Pornography addictions can be especially tricky because oftentimes the people around us (our husbands, friends and culture at large) are screaming that it’s really OK.

Needless to say, this ever-so-important part of our relationship hasn’t been easy. Early on in our recovery, the safest way for me to engage sexually was in the dark. But, thankfully, it has evolved over time.

When I think about that event, my most poignant memory is of the tall woman standing in the back of the room with her arms crossed. As she catapulted a question my way, her tone revealed my story had hit close to home.

When he told me his half-truth that night some 12 years ago while we were lying in bed, I realized my heart had been talking truth to me all along.

My dream slowly started to crumble when I realized that Jason hadn't chosen just me.