Cause this momma isn't porn, never has been, never will be. I'm the real deal.  The whole enchilada.  I'm mind, heart, body and soul.  Not just a body.

I realized - within me was a little girl that was heartbroken - and this is what made the situation so very painful.  The little girl within.

Joseph's story clearly shows us that none of us are immune from life's hardships.  And in fact - it's the hardships that have the potential to refine us and purify us and make us even more like Him.

This is my hope for all of us - that we would remain faithful and continue to put our hope and our trust in Him.  God will show us the way.

The key is to be aware of the old coping mechanism cropping back up and to course-correct as soon as possible.

We are going to make it.  It might not be glamorous or glitzy.  In fact, it might look a little ugly at times - but we will make it.

Each one of these emotions deserves space to breathe, space to have a voice, space to be heard and seen.

My hope is that each of you can approach next week feeling empowered, connected to yourself and more confident than in years past.

I've thought of all the times when I choose hiding over showing up. When I lurk into the shadows instead of bravely walking into the light and saying - here I am - pain, hurt, ugliness and all.

Because when my marriage started to blow - I was convinced I was ruined. My heart would never repair. My soul was damaged for good. Heaven come quick.

Someone wise proceeded to tell me - just because I'm questioning God and in a season of distrust with Him doesn't disqualify me from helping others! So to even think I needed to fake my relationship with God - no way.

So I'm closing with this - I'm begging you to show up by being you. If you are down, say it. If you feel hopeless - express it. If you feel angry - get it out. Let

You may never fully understand his choices of betrayal. But rest assured that his decisions do not mean you failed as a wife, or as a woman.

I used to think I could forgive in order to circumvent the grief process but I know differently today - grieving is a big part OF the forgiveness journey.

And then I released each one of them - pen and paper, just me and God.

And then I realized, the one and only way to move forward through the pain was to lay it all at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to do a miracle in my heart and release me from the hurt and the pain that Jason caused.

The type of sex we were engaging in wasn’t the love Jesus intended for us. Sex, for us, was a physical act of confusion. We’ve sought to take out the confusion and put sex in its rightful place.

If you have no idea what you are looking at, let me tell you - you are looking at my 4 week NEW laptop in a Pyrex dish of rice. (Don't mind me, I'm just going to rock back and forth in the fetal position a little while longer.)

Honestly, I consider this to be essential when it comes to self-care which is something I harp on a LOT in my groups.